Things HE Learned While Training for an Ultra

Teaching comes from school, but learning comes from experience.  (Thanks Gary)  Like any new challenge, we have to find our way to the end.  That path is full of things that we never knew and can take with us as we journey through life.

1) There’s a 5 o’clock in the morning

Having to prepare fro a 50 mile race apparently requires a lot of running.  Now I have yet to win the lotto or find someone who wants to give me money, so I have to work.  And I am never giving up time with my son.  So I have to get up early some days to run.  Did you know it’s dark and cold at 5am?  But I guess if farmers can do it, so can I.  I can always say I quit and sleep late.  But then SHE will make me feel like a schmuck.

2)Lot’s of bizarre thoughts go through one’s mind on a 4 hour run

Why am I doing this? This is fun.  This sucks a lot. Look a tree.  Random song plays in head.  I need to push harder.  I miss Eamonn.  Where the hell is SHE? I need to go to the bathroom.  Random song again.  This place is beautiful.  I hate that stupid song.  I can’t waste time looking at the scenery.  Is this the best thing I can be doing with my life?  I wish I was fat and lazy and normal, then I could be sitting on a couch or sleeping.  We’ve only been running for 37 freaking minutes?  My foot hurts.  My other foot hurts. I feel great.  There’s no place I’d rather be. Did I leave the lights on?

As you can see, this could go on for a long time.  I will spare you by ending this sampling of thoughts in my head.

3) People can smash through the limits they think they have.

When SHE and I started training, we were on a run through Pound Ridge.  Our run was supposed to be 2:15.  Thanks to my tracking skills, we were at 2:13 with a very long way to go to get to the car.  My solution was to just avoid SHE so that couldn’t hit me. 

“How much longer?” she asked.

“What?  You like Eva Longoria?”

“No, how much longer?”

“Not too much.”

“What is not too much?”

This conversation carried on.  Afraid to look her in the eye, we finally made it back to the car.  Now, a mere few months later, SHE is a completely different beast.  After a freakish nighttime, sleeping injury (yes, I hurt myself sleeping) I was unable to run one of our long runs together.  SHE was up and out, going through multiple hours on the trail, by herself.  A few days later, we were on the trails. SHE had a blister the size of a small island nation on her heel, and suffered through 2 hours of pain.  2 hours and it hardly felt like we ran.  SHE wanted to run more.  I had to stop her.  When once she struggled with the hills and trails, SHE runs strong and smooth.  No more do I have to hear her bitch constantly. (Ok she never really did that, but it sounded funny to say.)  Now she seems to not fear what is ahead of her, she welcomes the challenge.  She will be able to conquer anything in front of her, because of how hard she works.

4) Unless I’m playing with my son, snow sucks.

It’s slippery and it’s bumpy.  The footing is never even.  I feel like a mexican jumping bean bouncing around trying to stay upright because of how slippery and messy it is;  but it’s got to be making me stronger because I’m using all the little muscles that don’t get used on the roads.  But those little muscles don’t like to be used apparently and they get sore really fast.  Stupid piriformis muscle.

5)The world looks different through the seasons.

During the summer, the trails are green and full of life.  The smells and the sounds are many and vibrant.  Animals abound, people frolic.  The fall brings cooler, wonderful running weather.  Beautiful colors explode in the trees.  The crunchy leaves add a soundtrack to the run.  Then the crappy winter arrives.  It looks like death.  Nothing on the leaves.  Dank and cold.  I have ceased to be a fan of the winter.  But at least, the spring will be here soon.  I love the spring.

I’m sure the lessons will continue.  That is what life is all about.  We learn, we grow, we try something new.  If we didn’t, we would be dead.  That’s not really an option right now.

What SHE has learned so far

There are things you learn throughout your life; lessons that are taught. Some are hard and some are easy. Some you read in a book, some you are told and some you experience firsthand. Some make you a bit smarter and others leave you more enlightened, and if you’re lucky…you get both. Sometimes the things we learn are harder to realize when we’re in the thick of the moment. The lessons or general concepts aren’t fully appreciated until we step out of the frame of our picture, or in this case…off the trail.

You are never too old to learn something new. You can never have so much experience that you cannot make a rudimentary mistake. During the training for this ultra I have had my ass handed to me on numerous occasions, and yet I have gone back each time after for another, we’ll say “lesson.”

Half-way through the training, here is what I’ve learned:

In no specific order

1. Snowstorms suck even more when you run in the woods
2. New shoes + long run = blisters
3. I can run for more than 4 hours
4. Not eating on a run that lasts over 3 hours is dumb when you still have an hour or so to go
5. Eating on a run is weird
6. HE can be intense. Like scary intense.
7. You actually do learn to maneuver over rocks and roots so you don’t fall EVERY time
8. Runs over 3.5 hrs require two 22oz water bottles instead of one 22oz and one 10oz.
9. The car needs to be an aid station
10. Coyote attack stories scare me
11. I shouldn’t be so afraid of coyotes
12. On long trail runs I need to have some support in my shoe or I hurt
13. Vitamins are very important to me now
14. I am always hungry
15. I can eat A LOT now.
16. Balancing everything else around these long runs is hard
17. Waterproof gear is indispensable
18. I require much more sleep but don’t seem to get it
19. Toe warmers need to go in my shoes ½ hr before I start running
20. A watch shouldn’t be looked at too much on a long run in the woods
21. Pace doesn’t exist on the trails (for me)
22. I can do 3 hrs on a trail alone. Preface that – only on certain trails
23. The human body is amazing
24. Mantras work: One Step At  A Time  works for me
25. Setting small goals eventually gets you through a tough run
26. Foot balm is crucial
27. The food I eat makes a difference; especially iron and protein rich foods
28. Learning to run after walking is not easy ( I will walk the steep hills in the ultra, so I am practicing that now)
29. I really love my STICK (massaging tool)
30. My husband has sacrificed as much, if not more, as me during these training months

 

The list could probably be longer and will get longer. Training for this race has tested not only my endurance and strength, but also my will.  There are times when I look forward to the run and then there are times when I simply dread a run. It is more often than not, that those are the runs that leave me with a sense of gratification. A knowing that I can complete a run, or more specifically, this 50miler, as long as I remember that it’s all just “one step at a time.”

SHE through the eyes of HE

This blog is the view of the same world through different eyes.  Two different perspectives of  running  trying make some sense of this crazy endeavor that we all choose to attempt.  So here we are going to see how we see each other.  What do I think of SHE?

If there are small children in the room, either make them leave, or read this aloud so they can learn some colorful language.  SHE likes to punch me while we are running and she curses like sailor for no reason.  SHE also beat up a sweet old lady and took her cane and threw it in the woods.  Apparently people lose their minds  when they are running a lot.

Actually I have to say I have been very proud of SHE.  She has worked so hard to get to where she is (which I’m not sure where  that is because I lost her in the trails and haven’t seen her for about 3 days).  When SHE started, she was nervous about the footing on the trail.  And SHE fell…alot.  Ok maybe not a lot, but more than I.  But she never gave up.  SHE fought through her first half marathon on a trail and due to the heat and a fairly fast start, she struggled a little.  But she made it through.  Now, that half marathon is only part of a run-and she moves through it as if it ’s nothing in the same amount of time as when she raced it. 

If I had to describe SHE as a runner, I think Jason Vorhees.  Yes, the one from the Friday the 13th series.  Not that she’s a mass murderer, or that she’s all decomposed and wormy.  She does run with a hockey mask which is a little weird, but that’s for a different day.  What I mean is that, just like Jason, she never stops.  Everytime I run ahead and come back, she is moving forward, stronger each week than the last.  Everytime I try to catch her after looping off somewhere, she gets further and further ahead and its harder and harder to catch her.  She is steady and strong and handles whatever she encounters on the trails like a grizzled veteran.  When we pause to determine where to head off-she usually picks the way that she most doesn’t want to go.  Because she knows that is the only way to get stronger. 

Without SHE, I probably would not be training like I am.  She is an inspiration to me because of her passion and her drive.  I’ve often wondered if I wasn’t fast,would I run?  There were times I would have said no.  But SHE has helped me see that there is more to running than winning.  It’s not in the finish, but in the journey. While I still am striving to win-I realize that it is not the end all be all.  If I push myself to the limit and I fail, at least I had the cojones to push my self to the limit.  Technically she doesn’t have cojones, but she runs like she does.  She has grown so much as a runner and isn’t afraid to keep pushing that boundary.  That is inspiration. 

I have but one negative thing to say.  SHE needs to believe in herself.  SHE needs to trust herself.  She has grown and strengthened as a runner.  When once she would trip and struggle through the trails-now she moves with the terrain.  And she needs to realize that.  While we both have a long way to go, we are on the right path.  She has to learn to trust her instincts and realize that she is strong enough to get herself through any challenge.

I must admit that there was a time when I would consider myself a running snob.  If you weren’t fast, it’s not that you weren’t a runner,  you just weren’t an important runner.  Over time I realized I was a running ass.  Who the hell was I to judge someone else.  And last I checked-I hadn’t broken any world records.  The way I see it now-if you get out and you test your limits, you’re a runner.  And while there may be a limit to how fast you might be, there is absolutely no limit to how far you can go.  If you are willing to work at it, you have no limits.  SHE was a big influence on that vision.  We all have our reasons for running-and we all have our goals-and they are all the right way to the end.

When we started this crazy plan, I really did not know what to expect.  I now realize that I owe more to SHE than she probably realizes.  I’m a better person and a better runner because of her.  4 hours traipsing through the woods allow for a lot of reflection time.  SHE has helped me work through problems as we wander the trail.  She has also demonstrated what it takes to be a real runner.  Not once has she given up nor has she ever backed down from a challenge presented to her.  If I can run with half the heart SHE has, there is no limit to what I can do.  (And she would probably not feel too well because I have half of her heart.)

SHE version of HE

I could take this opportunity to take some jabs at HE, saying how much of a jerk he is and so on and so forth, but I won’t. If you know him, you already know that he is a self proclaimed jerk. Just kidding. HE is not a jerk at all, but rather just the opposite.

 

 HE is a good runner. Strike that. HE is a VERY good runner. Telling people I train with HE is always followed by my explaining that I am not HE’s caliber runner. I always have to preface that we train together, but we train differently and at very different levels.

 

I once told HE, that watching him run through the woods is very much like watching someone (with talent) dance The Tango. He moves effortlessly over the rocky terrain, as if floating, and it is at times too beautiful not to watch. Of course that’s when I usually trip, because I’m not paying attention to the rocky terrain that I do not “float” over, but nevertheless.

HE has a lot of experience as a runner. HE also has confidence in his running. HE is not cocky, but confident. HE believes in what HE is capable of doing and what the human body is capable of doing. If doubt creeps into HE’s mind, it certainly never shows. That being said, HE is also a very giving runner. Non-judgmental…assuming that you’re not “punking” out. HE will have the patience with any runner that is giving it their all, regardless of their level, but will not tolerate someone who just craps out for the sake of crapping out.

HE can come off a bit standoffish. A bit distant. HE will stand away from a crowd HE doesn’t know, but it is not because HE is judging. HE assesses a situation before HE enters it. “Real time” and running time. HE will warm-up to any (non-evil) person or dog, but you have to give him time. HE will make fun of me when we are running, because of how cheerful I can be with strangers. An exchange with a stranger, or a pet of a dog, will always be greeted with a look and a shake of the head from HE. I look at these moments as breaks in a long run, and HE views them as interruptions. We are different.

During runs I will watch him drive up and down hills with “great vengeance and furious anger” (a little Pulp Fiction never hurt), and sometimes I worry that his determination will destroy his love of the actual act of running. HE puts a great deal of pressure on himself, and at times it causes concern. The physical load is hard enough, but adding a mental load can be exhausting. I think HE worries about how well he will do in the 50 miler. How HE is viewed as a runner. His worthiness being judged on his ability. HE is not a narcissist by any stretch of the imagination, but I think that HE does worry about his running persona. This doesn’t take away from his confidence. When HE runs, HE is confident. It’s the off time that leaves him vulnerable.

HE runs hard. Steady. HE is light-footed. Like a deer trotting along. Staying steady, regardless of the uphill/downhill factor. HE moves with more fluidity among the rocks and roots. His feet knowing instinctively where to land. HE prefers to run silently, I think. Taking in all of the wonderment around him. Absorbing the beauty that surrounds him. HE is more at peace in the woods than on the pavement. The world of the wilderness seems to appeal to him much more than the asphalt society, and I can not blame him.

Running with HE has been one of my fortunes in life. HE has changed my running. HE has given a great deal of his time and his self to my running. HE continues to teach me more about my “running self” and those capabilities daily. If not for him I wouldn’t be on trails (right now anyway) or training for a 50 miler, and for that I‘m eternally grateful. More importantly though; I am not just grateful for HE being my running partner, but more so for being my friend. HE is a good man. Although, sometimes HE needs to reminded of that.

HE is not so much a jerk as HE says. HE is more like the Astaire of the trails and Freddy was not a jerk! Or at least I don’t think he was.

She-Finding the balance

Ralph Waldo Emerson: “Unless you try to do something beyond what you have already mastered, you will never grow.”

 

Balance. It’s not easily achieved and it’s often taken for granted. Just when we think that we have no balance in our lives, we go and add something else to our itineraries (say a 50 miler), and then realize that we actually had some balance and plenty more free time.

 

I seek balance. I need balance.

 

More often than not I think that I have more time to complete a task, or get someplace than I actually have. My time-management skills are something to be desired. I think that I can blame this, if even just partially, on the fact that I live in my head more than out of it. You spend enough time dancing through your mind’s cobwebs, you’re bound to get tied up now and again.

 

I have many interests. I am not one that feels if given all the free time in the world, that I would be bored. There are far too many books to read, scripts to write, movies to see, instruments to learn, music to listen to and miles to run.

 

50 miles, right now, to be exact.

 

Let’s be clear. I chose to do this. I want to do this. I am not complaining about doing this. That being said, I still need to find the balance in the training. Keep sanity while training. Uphold relationships while training. Work while training. Film while training. Not let everything else that gives me pleasure fall by the way-side while training. I need to train, and train a lot, but I also need to live. I need to find the balance, so I never resent the other. Too often the things that bring us pleasure in our lives become part of a “can’t-change-one-small-thing-because-this-is-my- routine-and-I-can‘t-break-it” motto, and then it eventually brings despair. Balance is needed.

 

Example:

 

On an average “long run day ” I can be out of the house for about 6 hrs. That’s driving to, running X amount of time and driving home. The next step in training is to add another run (not quite as long) on the end of that day. This means that at least two times a week, I may be running or doing running related activities for possibly 8 hours. Then add on the other run days, which are usually no less than an hour. Add stretching and soon strength training. This doesn’t or won’t leave time, or energy for much else. I am thankful that my husband is VERY understanding, and that our “fur-kid” (my husband’s name for our perfect little dog) is flexible. That being said….

 

 

Training for this 50 miler has been a challenging experience. Not just physically or mentally, but emotionally as well. I want to train and train right, giving all of my strength to the run, but I also want to be able to give all of myself to those other areas of my life. I don’t want to steal from Peter to pay Paul. I don’t want to sacrifice all of one to feed the other. Sometimes I feel guilty. I feel selfish. I wonder if my doing this hurts other parts of my life. I wonder if I, the one with poor time-management, could ever find a way to do both and do them well.

 

I need to appreciate the moments. That’s what life is. Moments. The moments on the trail and off. Find the peace between the two worlds. Stop thinking so much and just be. Just be! Learn that everything doesn’t have to be done in a day. Set time aside for each of my activities. Planning to make the time is wasting time. Stop! Stop, saying time!

 

I know, I know….quit my bitching.

 

Balance and time, time and balance. Everything we do, everyplace we are, is exactly right. I just have to remember that when I think that I’m wasting time.

 

No one said that it would be easy. Not to follow the old cliché , but if it were easy, everyone would be doing it. Wouldn’t they?

 

 

    

 

   

 

  

 

HE’s search for the Yin Yang of running

I can balance a quarter on its edge.  I can balance on one foot like a flamingo.  I used to be able to balance on my head but it hurts.  I could balance a checkbook if I wanted to-but I don’t want to-it’s too depressing to see how much money I don’t have.  So I live in denial.

Life is all about balance, about finding that fine line where we can accomplish everything we want and need, and not go too crazy doing it.  The more pieces to balance the harder it becomes.  But then again, nothing worth doing is easy. 

It is all about priorities.  Where do we place the important things in life?  Once we have that piece of the puzzle, we need a plan.  In the immortal words of  Heath Ledger’s Joker “Do I really look like a guy with a plan? You know what I am? I’m a dog chasing cars. I wouldn’t know what to do with one if I caught it. You know, I just… do things.”  Perhaps this is why I am where I am.  But that’s for a different time and place. 

 This is where SHE and HE differ in life.  SHE is organized and likes to have a plan.  I am not.  SHE will often ask me what I have planned with my son-my pat answer is “We’ll let the wind take us where it wants.”  I’ve come to believe that one must be prepared for anything to happen. And be prepared to adapt.  I would always tell the runners on my team to have an idea about how they want to run their race-but be ready for anything to happen and adjust to it.   That is how I keep my balance.  I plan on running everyday, and I try to make the time, but if something crazy comes up and I have to miss a day-then so be it. 

I often hear people complain that they do not have enough time to do this or do that.  And that drives me nuts.  Mother Teresa only had 24 hours in a day and she was able to do more than we could imagine.  How much time do we waste doing things that have nothing to do with our goals.  Right now I’m sitting here watching “Toy Soldiers” from 1991.  It has Sean Astin and Wil Wheaton in it.  Are you kidding me?  Lou Gossett Jr.  is climbing up the side of a wall to sneak into a room.  I could have been done with this blog 2 hours ago. 

But then I sit back and I think about things.  What’s important-what needs to be first?  I try to convince myself that I needed to make sure that Sean Astin survived because he needs to be Rudy later on in life and then have a bizarre manhobbit crush on Frodo.  But do I really need to know that? 

But seriously-it all goes back to the question of how important is this too me?  I love to run.  And I love to be competitive.  Can I live with myself by just running when it’s convenient?  If I say yes to that question, then I will never run, because there is always something else to be doing.  But I can’t be satisfied with that.  I have a drive to try to be my best and that comes with a price.  I’m not gonna sit here and say I’m too busy.  I honestly have but one priority and that is my son.  If I really want to succeed, I can find the time to train.  The balance has to come from my heart.  Or it has to come from my fear that SHE will make fun of me if I don’t get my butt up to meet her to run.  So maybe Im not as strong as I think I am.  Sometimes we need something to help us keep our balance.  I know that if I don’t sacrifice time and put the effort in-I will be a miserable prick because I’ll be mad at myself.  I’ll feel like I let down my son, SHE, and everyone else that has faith in me.  Mad that I didn’t give it everything I could because I was lazy.  So Im not going to lie-I don’t always have this inner drive to balance everything. Sometimes I want to just become a couch potatoe and do nothing.  But that won’t work.  It’s not a matter of choice.  It’s a matter of necessity.  I know I need to be there for my son.  I have responsibilities at work.  But if I don’t take the time to run, I will fail at the other two.

PS Lou Gossett Jr. saved the day

She’s Training Log From 1.03.10-1.09.10

   

I have been keeping a training log for almost my entire running “career.” I keep one for no other reason than to monitor my progress. I like to see what does and doesn’t work, and if there are any improvements. I have logged everything from weather, food, sleep to general health; from colds to muscle aches. A log isn’t a must, but if you find that it helps… why not keep one?  

　

Sunday 1.03.10

 

Temperature 19 degrees, 1 degree with wind chill 

Time: 3 hours and 30 minutes  

Pound Ridge.  

6 am pick-up for a 7 am start.  

REALLY cold out. Dress with: 2 pair of socks, 2 tights + 1 compression short, 1 base layer + 3 more tops, 2 gloves, 1 hat, 1 neck gaiter, and a pair each of hand warmers and toe warmers.  

*Note to self: Start putting the toe warmers in shoes before I leave the house. One it will save time when getting the rest of my gear on up there, and two, my toes will have a head start on the warmth.  

Cold hands and feet starting out. Didn’t put hand warmers in until after we started- this was a mistake. Anything under 20 degrees/18 W.C. has to have warmers at the beginning. Other than that, dressed appropriately. Didn’t feel the cold.  

Didn’t really talk on this run. All energy went toward the run. Ice and snow on the trails made for tricky footing. Fell once. Tripped over a decent sized tree branch and went down on a tree that had a stump sticking up. Right arm is hurting.  

Run went rather quickly. It was at 2 hours before I knew it.  

Had to walk a bit. A lot more energy used with the slippery footing.  

Legs felt heavy. Pain in my ass. My piriformis muscle is kicking my ass. Literally.  

*Note to Self: Start drinking even more water during the day and start using the stick and/or foam roller at some point each day.  

Need to figure out how to incorporate some calories on these runs. Either before or during, or both. Thinking about almond butter as a good starting point. HE will mock me.  

Overall good run.  

　

　

   

Monday 1.04.10 

Temperature 18 degrees, 8 degrees with wind chill  

Time: 47 minutes  

Up early, VERY early. Need to get run in and then do laundry before work. Ugh!  

I am sore, but this is an easy paced run to get some kinks out.  

Forgot how nice it is to run on the roads this early. The streets are all mine.  

Ass is still hurting.  

Calves feel VERY tight.  

I need to start sitting on the stability ball at work again. I also need to start getting more sleep. Go to bed earlier!　  

Topricin. Stick. Foam roller. Repeat.  

　

　

   

Tuesday 1.05.10 

Temperature 19 degrees, 10 degrees with the wind chill  

Time: 1 hour 31 minutes  

Should have dressed warmer; only wore a base layer with a jacket. Felt the cold.  

My legs felt a bit looser after 40 minutes. Kept a decent pace, but nothing overly taxing.  

Could have and should have done 1:45, but my bed felt too warm and cozy to get out. Need to get up as soon as the alarm sounds.  

Calves and piriformis still achy.  

START SLEEPING MORE! GO TO BED EARLIER!

　

   

 

  

　  

Wednesday 1.06.10

 

Temperature 27 degrees, 18 degrees with wind chill

Time: 1 hour + 

Up VERY early again. Benefit is, I get the hill to myself. I can run the tangents, which helps to get up the hill quicker.  

 Scheduled workout today:  

Hills.  

20 minute warm-up to the hill.  

5 repeats 1:25, 1:26, 1:25, 1:25 and 1:22  

20+ minute warm-down  

I promised myself to run it how I feel. If there was any pain, I’d bag the workout and just do a run, not a workout.  

Surprisingly it didn’t feel too bad. Quicker times than usual; most likely due to hardly any traffic on the roads this early.  

SLEEP!

　

   

Thursday 1.07.10  

Temperature 30 degrees, 21 degrees with wind chill  

Time: 3 hours and 3 minutes  

Running Leather Stocking Trail. Get picked up by HE at 6 am. Goal was to start running at 6:30am.  

“Santa’s Little Helper”, as HE called him, delayed this start. Stray dog in the middle of the road. Wouldn’t listen to us or take any food. Followed him off main road into side streets. Tried to get him to go home. Lost him in a yard after 20 or so minutes.  

Start running at about 7 am.  

I notice that I dress in many more layers when doing these trail runs.  

2 pair of socks, 1 pair of tights, 1 compression short, 1 wind boxer ( I don’t like when my butt gets cold), 1 base layer, 2 tops, 2 gloves, 1 hat, 1 neck gaiter and 1 pair of toe warmers.  

Have to go in to trail and add on before starting loop. Good thing about this is, we pass the car once, so I‘m able to take off one top and one set of gloves, which loosens up my upper body. HE also takes off a layer.  

1:30 into the run my left foot is too hot, so I have to stop and take toe warmer out. Can’t figure my feet out.  

There are ice patches, so some areas are tricky, but there’s not too much snow .  

Overall run goes well. We have lots of conversations, so I know that my energy is better.  

Last 45 minutes I feel my piriformis and my calves aching.  

Promise myself that if it snows tonight I will sleep in tomorrow, since it’s supposed to be a track workout.  

Make massage appointment.  

　

　

   

Friday 1.08.10 

Temperature 28 degrees, 28 with wind chill  

Time: 1:15+ hours  

Snowed.  

So much for promises.  

20 minute warm-up to track  

Surprise idiot! Track is covered in snow. This will be interesting. Should’ve slept in like I said I would.  

Considered just running home, but after I warmed up a bit I decided to make the most of it.  

The workout was supposed to be: 4 x 400 and 2 miles of in and outs. Weather did not cooperate, so instead…

I do 16 strides and 2 x 400.  

I felt pretty good. Times on 400’s were not as slow as I’d think with all of the obstacles.  

Lane 1 has snow drifts with ice clumps on the straight-aways. Lane 2 is a little better, but on the strides I opt for lanes 3,4 or 5. The 400’s are a mixture of lane 1 and 2. After the 2^nd 400 I notice that there is more ice than I thought under the snow.  

I call it a workout, and do a 22 minute warm-down home.  

Stick. Foam roller and Topricin are working.  

Plus stability ball at work has made a huge difference.  

Calves and piriformis are feeling better. Have to keep up the home therapy.  

   

Saturday 1.09.10  

Temperature ??  

Time: None  

I didn’t want to run “junk miles”, which is what this would’ve been.  

 I am tired and doing what I should’ve done yesterday. I ideally would rather not take a day off before a long run, but this is how it worked out. I need to take more days off. One every two weeks was good for my previous mileage, but not anymore. Rest is as much part of my training as anything.  

My body runs better on rest, my mind doesn’t. Let those two work it out without me. I’m taking the day off.

HE’s Training Log

I’m probably not the best person to talk to about training logs.  I think they are a great tool.  It can be interesting and fun to check out what you have done over the years.  It can help your training  because you can see what has worked and what doesn’t work in your training.  However, I haven’t used one in years.  I stopped a few years ago- partly out of laziness and partly out of frustration. 

I used to keep a very meticulous log, noting down everything that happened pertaining to my training for each day.  Distance, weather, pace, how I felt-it all counted.  As we learned in my last blog, I was obsessed.  If I didn’t reach the planned mileage, I was not happy.  To look back at days when I didn’t run or I ran bad… made me sick.

Now I just run how I feel.  I have my set days that I run with SHE.  But other than that, my body tells me what to do.  I know that I need to run a lot.  And I know that some days I need to run fast.  Which days those are, I find out as they come along.  A typical week for me is based around Thursday and Sunday long runs with SHE.  Those days are the foundation for everything else.  When we run together, I tend to push the uphills to force my body to work hard when it is tired.  These two runs allow me to mix long endurance with some faster pickups.  Changing the pace helps my body to learn to recover while still running. 

The other days just flow.  Over the next weeks, I will be adding second runs and building up another run over a couple of hours.  But the speed varies according to my energy level.  I have become a fan of tempo runs.  Those are runs where you push it at close to race pace.  This forces the body to run hurt and tired.  That’s something I figure I’ll have to do over the last 15-20 miles of an ultra race. 

For now, running without a log helps me to enjoy my training.  I’m not a slave to the numbers like I used to be.  But sometimes I wonder if I’m just being scared.  Am I afraid to face the reality of my training?  Have I been using it as an excuse to not be focused?  Many people are all talk with what they do.  Perhaps I’m one of them.  Do I train as hard as I think?  Without a log there is no proof either way.  Putting something on paper makes it real.  It forces one to make a commitment.  If I train right and hard, I have no excuse.  If I don’t write it down, then I have excuses up the wazoo if I fail.  There is no record.  Nothing to prove if I trained hard enough or if I slacked.  Sometimes we fear the commitment.  Maybe it’s time I step it up.  If I want to compete with the best-I need to focus myself.  Maybe I will take my own advice and keep a log-then I can truly see is I deserve to win.

Often people ask me if I think they will be able to finish a race.  And I tell them there are no limits to what they can do.  As long as they do the work.  To finish a race comfortably and want to do it again, you need to run.  If you want to compete and try to win, you need to hurt in practice.  Without a log, you can convince yourself of whatever you need to believe.  Writing it down makes it real.

Why HE started running

It was a young lad’s first day in high school at Fordham Prep. A friend mentioned that he was going to join the cross country team. Being the fastest kid in his eighth grade, he decides to join. After school he dons his basketball sneakers and shorts and realizes he has no shirt-save for his button down dress shirt. Not to be dismayed, he shows up along with a few other naïve freshmen and is driven to Van Cortland Park in the Bronx. The coach makes him run up the lone hill on the freshman XC course a few times and then down the other side on the last one, a total distance of about a mile. He almost drops from exhaustion.

Fast forward 21 years and the same knucklehead is preparing himself for a 50 mile race around Bear Mountain. Apparently he learned nothing in a lifetime.

I’m totally not sure why I started running. My first three years of running, I sucked. I wasn’t fast. I never wanted to practice. I only did because my mom told me once I started something; I owed it to the coach to finish. But for some reason I never quit when the seasons ended. I enjoyed the team, but not much else. Training was hard and tedious and the races hurt. Plus I never won. So I didn’t even have that. In fact, I can remember after my first XC season (which consisted of racing a 1.5 mile course) I was so glad that I didn’t have to run long distance anymore. I could display my Irish, red headed, skinny-ass leg speed. That is until my coach told me I would have to run the mile in our first indoor race. WHAT THE F*&^! That was eight stinking laps around the track. He must be crazy! Or did he know something I didn’t know. Apparently no one told me my Irish, red-headed, skinny-ass had no leg speed. Well that sucks.

After my junior year, something changed. I started to enjoy the work. I ran everyday over the summer before my senior year. I learned that to be halfway decent, I needed to hurt. I needed to train. What the hell happened? Here’s where I need to introduce you to the person responsible for all this, Mr. George Febles, coach of Fordham Prep High School. He instilled in me a love for running that has lasted to this day. Without him, I would not be where I am today.

Despite my suckiness at running, he never discouraged me, only encouraged. He told me that to be good I needed to run. So I did (very Gumpish, don’t ya think?) My senior year I was a changed man. I showed up to practice every day. I ran on my days off. I did whatever he told me I needed to do. I started to love racing. No longer was I merely on the track team. I was finally a varsity runner.

That was it. The start of it all. I became obsessed. I wanted to see how good I could be. Every step I took was focused on running as fast as I could. It was a challenge to myself. I wasn’t talented, but I was willing to work hard. My mood depended on my run for the day. My mom (bless her soul) always said “I don’t like you when you don’t run.” Harsh words but I knew what she meant. I was grumpy if I ran bad or couldn’t run for some reason.

But that feeling when I toed the line was unmatched. The anticipation of the gun going off, knowing that I was in shape and ready to run fast, was like a drug. I craved the chance to test myself against the other runners. I loved being tested.  Failures only gave me a chance to grow. Each year I improved, moving up the ladder of the running hierarchy.  I might not have been the best, but I was pretty good.  More importantly, I knew I was only going to get better. 

I ran twice a day. I stayed in on weekends. I skipped classes in college to train (perhaps a little overboard). Then, my junior year in college, I sustained an injury that would ruin everything. My legs began to betray me. I could no longer trust them to run as they once did. And I was devastated. Everything that defined who I was had disappeared. I no longer loved running. It became a curse. Everyone knew me as a runner and I could no longer run as I did. I was no longer the person I was. I couldn’t win a race if my life depended on it. I was ready to call it a career.

But wait you say? If I was quitting-why am I training to run a 50 miler? Cause I have a split personality and one of the personalities has no clue what is going on? Cause I’m an idiot? No-(well many have called me an idiot but not because of this) it is because things change. And you’ll have to check back to find out what happened.

Before I end this, I do need to add a few things. I do have some other people to thank for pushing me in this direction. The assistant coach at Fordham Prep, Pat Dormer, always pushed me further than I thought. Febles and Dormer were like a yin and a yang. Febles very cerebral and calm, Dormer was psychotic and driven. And I wouldn’t have had it any other way.

The other people I want to thank are my parents. They gave me everything I ever needed and were my biggest fans. I was proud to run well for them. I can remember running a 10,000 meter race in college. For the uninitiated that is 25 laps around an outdoor track. Usually any cheering and excitement is reserved for the last couple of laps. The rest of the time, the concession line gets very long since people don’t want to sit and watch people run around in circles (though it works for NASCAR. Perhaps we should crash more in track, and then people would watch. Though I did trip in every 10,000 meter race on the track I did. Honest. I can’t explain why either). Where was I? That’s right I was going in circles for a long time. However this time, on every single lap I heard my dad, the lone screamer in the stands, cheering me on. My mom was special in her own right. She actually told me once that I could stop if it hurts. Not sure that Febles would have appreciated that. Her support for me was only enhanced by her cluelessness about the sport. I was running a 2 mile indoor race once (16 laps for the uninitiated of the audience). As I hit lap 7, my mom yelled “kick it in!! Sprint!!” My friend turned to her and said “Mrs. Sullivan, he has 9 more laps to go.” On the next lap, I actually heard “don’t sprint!!!!”

Without their support, I would not have had the courage to test myself. I would have been afraid to be good. I would not have wanted any of the pressure. I’m not sure if I’d be where I am now, because they would have never put me on the path I followed.

Why SHE Started Running

It started out innocently enough. A man, a New Year’s resolution, a gym, a treadmill and a very reluctant SHE.

Let me explain.

The year is 2000 and my boyfriend (now husband) has gotten into his head that we should join a gym.

I do not want to join a gym.

I like my very sedentary lifestyle.

I am hesitant.

He is persistent.

I give in.

We join a gym.

Ugh!

The funny thing is I adapt quite quickly. I start on a stair climber and then progress to a treadmill. The treadmill is a big deal for me, because I think that I’ll look like an idiot running, and apparently, in my mind, everyone will be staring at me, so they too will think I’ll look like an idiot. Regardless, I start to run. Surprisingly, nobody is phased by my running. (insert heavy sarcasm)

I start at a pace that I think is manageable, setting the treadmill to a 4-4.5 mile an hour pace. I stay here for a bit, until I feel that the pace is too easy. I gradually start inching the speed button up on the treadmill and before I know it, I am a runner.

Well, more of a weekend warrior, but you have to start somewhere.

As the months pass, days are added, and my status as a weekend warrior gets re-established as a gym rat. I wake at ungodly hours to go to the gym to make sure that I get a treadmill. There are slim pickings and I am becoming a bit of a “I only like this treadmill” snob. Oh the insanity!

It is not until the gym fails (repeatedly) to open its doors on time that I discover running outside. I am forced to go to the nearby track and run, so that I can get my run in and get to work on time.

I learn quickly that running inside and running outside are VERY different. I am not as tough as I thought. The wind whips me around, and I am left gasping for air. Running outside, it would seem, would take some getting used to.

I essentially know nothing about running. Up to now everything I know about running I’ve learned through sheer luck, or by my own mistakes. I am injured constantly, but run through the injuries. I am stubborn and dedicated, a painful combination. The only thing I know is that I do not want to stop running.

2006:

My running took dramatic changes (for the better) after I started to work at the shop. Surrounded by runners and their lifetime of knowledge, I was a kid in candy store. For the first time I trained with someone. I learned how to talk and run; to break the ‘slave to the miles” habit and just concentrate more on time. To explore new areas; break my mold. I started to run outside with more consistency, until at last, running in a gym was a thought that mortified me. I felt alive on the roads, uninhibited and fresher. I would never be the fastest runner in the group (keep in mind where I work), but I had found my legs.

Now the why.

In the beginning, when I had first considered running, I thought about how selfish it was not to use my body to its full capacity, when there were so many that would give anything to do what I was choosing not to do. That’s not to say that anyone that can exercise and doesn’t is being selfish, but rather, it was a thought that I had regarding my own self.

So, I started to run.

It felt good to run. It felt natural.

The tango that exists between the mind and the body is amazing. The human body can do almost anything, but our mind can and will prevent it at times. I liked the challenge that this represents. Defying my mind with my body. It is all a bit “self-abusive” in a weird way.

Running helps to calm my mind. It can solve a problem or settle an argument, even though at times, the person I have the argument with on the run, never knows it. I can go out on a run feeling anxious or have some negative feeling and come back with peace.

The first screenplay that I wrote, I wrote on a run. Running gets my creative juices flowing. I can figure out dialogue or an ending of a short that I’m working on during a good run. Running is good for my film career.

It’s not easy for me to pinpoint why I run exactly, other than the way it makes me feel. The way I hope it makes me seem. Running has given me more than I could ever give it back. I understand myself a little more with each run. Isn’t that what we do when we head out that door? To learn a little more about ourselves each time.

I have crept and crawled my way from the days of a weekend warrior to an everyday runner. The journey started with a treadmill and continued on a road. Now the road leads to the trail. In the woods I will continue to discover new “whys.” There will always be new reasons to keep running.

A new world has opened up on this run and I am better for it. I am also, just a wee bit better at math.